Coffee House Creeps Vol. 5 The Judgmental Sketcher
This is one of the strangest of the CHC's, the Judgmental Sketcher. This goofball brings his sketchbook to coffee shops with the idea that he will draw fantastic images that will alter the face of the art world. Instead, he spends most of his time perched on the moral high ground passing judgment on others. He then uploads these sketches to his "SketchBlog" and claims to be conducting some sort of satirical anthropological study. Is he a loon? Is he a twisted genius? Or, is he just a very silly fellow who likes to draw goofy pictures of coffee house weirdos? Probably a little of each (with a slight emphasis on the genius part).
This brand of CHC insists on wearing his hat inside at all times. Why? My first thought was that he may fear "hat hair". One look around at what passes for male grooming these days quickly dispelled that theory, however. Perhaps he thinks it makes him look coolly casual or offbeat. Who knows? Whatever the reason, it's unlikely he will cease this practice despite the breach of basic etiquette and the general goofballishness it entails.
Note: Some species of the Inside Hat Guy pair the hat with a scarf which is also kept on inside. This takes the cheese to a whole new level.
Note Note: This does not apply to women. They look adorable in hats and scarves and should be encouraged to continue wearing them indoors.
Note Note Note: There isn't one. I just wanted to see if I could land the triple.
Coffee House Creeps Vol. 3 The 20 Year Old Prospector
This oddball is a young man in the prime of life who has inexplicably chosen to sport a big, bushy, ragged prospector beard. I have no idea what these fellows think this does for them other than age them considerably and make them look like they've flipped their lids. The weird thing is that some of these guys actually have women around them. What the funk? Are looney prospectors big with the ladies these days? Maybe they like to groom them ala chimps. There is probably a lot of good eatin' trapped in those colossal crumb catchers.
Note: These guys also tend to sport the winter flip-flopper look detailed in vol.2.
What's up with this guy? He wears full winter gear: hat, scarf, coat, the works! Then, for some reason, he skips boots and puts on flip-flops! I'm not sure what he hopes to accomplish by this. I saw two examples of this bizarre species at a recent trip to Sparrows. One of them was sporting full sandals, but the effect was the same.